See beneath the presentation for text-only version with image descriptions.
Slide 1: Yellow text against a black background: “Forbidden Planet: The Stuffed Animals Version”.
Slide 2: Three stuffed animals cluster around a Mac Bluetooth wireless keyboard: A stuffed animal moose shaped like a curved neck pillow, a stingray, and a small blue Totoro with its back to the camera. The totoro wears a flat-topped white hat.
The moose speaks into a landline phone: “Hello? We have come to rescue you!”
In a second picture, a small frog sculpture with a taped-on beard made out of yarn speaks into a landline phone: “It looked like it came from a local number, but it’s just another spam call! GO AWAY I DON’T WANT ANY.”
Slide 3: The same three stuffed animals in the same positions as before.
Moose: “Ok, let’s bring the ship in for a landing anyway.”
Slide 4: A heavy green pot lid dangles from a string tied around its round black handle. Three photos show it from different angles as though it’s tilting and moving. A fourth photo shows it resting on the ground. Small musical notes are scattered around the page. Caption: “Sound effects”.
Slide 5: The moose, stingray, and Totoro face a small portable labelmaker, which has taped-on antennae made from aluminum foil. The heavy green pot lid is visible in the background. The Totoro wears a white apron matching its hat.
Labelmaker: “I speak 187 languages! I’m a robot, but my dream is to do anything else but live here with this guy who likes to show guests that they don’t have to be afraid of me by showing them that I’ll stick my arm in a waste disposal unit when commanded. Also, there’s a tiger that lives with us. Did I mention the tiger? Maybe it can come with us when we leave here.”
Slide 6: The moose, totoro, and stingray face the labelmaker and a frog figurine standing in front of is a cardboard box with a inexpertly drawn doorway.
Frog: “I signed up for the Do Not Call list, but since you’re here already I guess you better stay for lunch. Have you met my robot? Want to see him stick his arm in a waste disposal unit?”
Slide 7: The frog faces a snail figurine. The snail wears a light-colored yarn wig.
Frog: “Alta, I told you to stay in your room!”
Snail: “Dad, it’s incredibly boring here. We don’t even have Netflix. C’mon, this is the first time anyone even vaguely local has shown up on Tinder.”
Slide 8: Four photos of the stingray and the snail in front of a houseplant.
In the first photo, their faces are touching. Caption: “*Smooch*”.
In the second photo, the snail says: “Doesn’t seem to be working. Try again?”
The third photo is captioned “*Smooch*”.
In the fourth photo, the snail says: “I’m just not sure I understand this kissing thing.”
Slide 9: The moose, stingray, and snail face each other.
Moose: “What are you two doing?? Alta, go put more clothes on! You’re creating competition among my crew!”
Snail: “But only you two show up on Tinder for me. I don’t think anyone else cares.”
Stingray: “Wait, Alta is the only person who shows up on your Tinder? We all just thought you didn’t use Tinder. Is this why you’re so grumpy all the time?”
Moose: “…I’m not being grumpy. Look, Alta, just go put more clothes on before you get us banned in Spain.*”
At the bottom of the slide, a note reads: “*They got banned in Spain on account of Alta’s miniskirts. – Ed. “
Slide 10: Caption: “That night, back at the ship…” Footprints lead down across the slide toward a photo of the pot lid, accompanied by the words “THUMP THUMP THUMP”. Snores come from the pot lid.
Slide 11: Caption: “The next morning…”
The moose sits next to the pot lid, holding a wire whisk and saying:
“Something broke in and sabotaged our Klystron Frequency Modulator! Guess we’ll be stuck here for a while.
They made a cast of its foot from the footprints. It looks…very silly.
Maybe I’ll go see what Alta’s wearing. I mean, up to.”
A picture to the side shows the foot from the opening credits of Monty Python’s Flying Circus.
Slide 12: The moose is draped over the edge of a bathtub. The snail is inside the bathtub.
Snail: “Come in, the water’s lovely!”
Moose: “I didn’t bring my bathing suit.”
Snail: “What is this Earth thing you call ‘bathing suit’?”
Moose: “Oh boy.”
Snail: “Oh, don’t start that again. You’ll love my new dress! I’ll go put it on now!”
Slide 13: The snail wears a toe sock over half of its body. The toe sock is bright blue with orange, black, and gray stripes. Small red hearts are scattered around the page.
Slide 14: The snail, still wearing the toe sock, talks to the moose.
Snail: “What do you think?”
Moose: “…”
Snail: “Maybe we could try smooching?”
Slide 15. The moose and snail smooch.
Snail: “Hmm, I think I might be starting to see the point of this.”
Moose: “Wait what is that up there AUGGH A TIGER BETTER SHOOT IT”.
In a second photo, the moose and snail face a cardboard box with a stuffed-animal shrimp sushi sitting on top. The moose is holding an infrared kitchen thermometer and firing an orange beam toward the sushi.
Slide 16: The Totoro, with a mostly-empty bottle of Kentucky Bourbon behind it, faces the labelmaker. The caption reads “Meanwhile, elsewhere…”
Totoro: “Hey, uh, Robby. Know where a guy could get some of the good stuff?”
Labelmaker: “I’m flattered by your interest, sir. Let me just go freshen up.”
Totoro: “Booze, Robby. I mean booze.”
Labelmaker: “…oh. Yes. I definitely didn’t think it was, haha, a date or anything.”
Slide 17: The labelmaker sits at the front of an open liquor cabinet with multiple bottles visible in the background. The Totoro faces him.
Totoro: “omg. …what are you doing the rest of tonight?”
Labelmaker: “(yessss!) Why, I had nothing planned, sir. Why do you ask?”
Slide 18: Caption: “That night, again…” Footprints lead down across the slide toward a photo of the pot lid, accompanied by the words “THUMP THUMP THUMP”. From the pot lid: “Aieeeeee! Wake up, it’s out there!”
Slide 19: The moose, Totoro, and stingray face off against a knitted squid, the pot lid the background. The squid has two tiny Monty Python feet photoshopped in and is surrounded by yellow lightning bolts.
The moose holds the infrared thermometer and says: “The electric fence is making it visible! Shoot it!”
A note at the bottom of the slide reads: “Later the monster went away, but once it left the electric fence it was invisible, so we don’t have a photo for that part. — Ed.”
Slide 20: The moose and stingray face the frog, with various electronics in the background: an ipad, a digital lux meter, a sound level meter, a battery charger, a Linksys router, and a Playstation 2 with controller. The frog is sitting next to a Kindle.
Moose: “All right, Morbius. It’s exposition time.”
Frog: “Oh fine. All the ancient powerful technology you see in this room was left by an ancient and powerful race, the Krell. Let me show you their machines.”
Slide 21: The moose, stingray, and frog. The Kindle is now open and shows the title page of “The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”
Frog: “On this screen may be projected the total scientific knowledge of the Krell, a sheer bulk surpassing many Earthly libraries.”
Slide 22: The frog wears earbuds attached to the iPad. The moose and stringray are next to him.
Frog: “I’ve named this machine the ‘plastic educator.’* You just put these receptors on your ears, like this, and it makes you incredibly smart! It gives you really weird dreams, though. Really weird. I wouldn’t recommend you use it.”
A note at the bottom of the page reads: “*This is what it was actually called in the movie. – Ed.”
Slide 23: The stingray wears the earbuds attached to the iPad. The moose and frog are not present.
Stingray: “Ok, he’s not around. I’m going to make myself really smart now. I wonder what the machine will show me!”
A note at the bottom of the page reads: “This is what you should always do with machines created by mysterious species that have also mysteriously gone extinct after creating those machines. – Ed.”
Slide 24: The stingray wearing the earbuds. A knit squid and stuffed Cthulhu now sit on top of the iPad.
Stingray: “AUGGGGH MONSTERS, MONSTERS FROM THE ID”
Slide 25: The stingray, frog, moose, and snail. The moose is curled up around the snail.
Moose: “The Krell machinery made a monster from your id and now it’s after us!”
Snail: “If only we had a fierce animal to protect us. Like, say, a tiger. One particular tiger. The one you shot.”
Slide 26: The stingray, frog, moose, and snail again. The frog is flipped upside down on its back.
Frog: “I have thrown myself into its path to protect you! Auggggh it got me! With my death, it will trouble you no longer! Before you go, look under the machine! There’s a self-destruct disc. Use it when you leave the planet!”
Slide 27: A photo of a Windows Millennium Edition CD next to a screenshot of an exploding planet with the caption “BOOM”.
Slide 28: The moose and snail, with a heart icon between them, face the labelmaker and the Totoro. The labelmaker is sitting in front of the Mac wireless keyboard. The labelmaker and the Totoro have a heart icon between them too.
Moose: “Robby, you make an excellent crewmember!”
Labelmaker: “Thank you, sir, but my dream is to be a movie star. Next stop: Hollywood! I still can’t believe you shot the tiger. “
Slide 29: Credits:
Captain guy: a moose
Other guy that looks kinda like the captain guy: stingray
Some other guy I might have gotten mixed up with them both because everyone in this movie has the same haircut: also stingray
The cook: Totoro
Robby, the Robot: Brother P-Touch D210
Dr. Morbius: frog with beard
Alta: snail with wig
A tree: a plant. I’m not sure what it is, but I haven’t accidentally killed it yet, and that’s the important part
Tiger: ebi sushi
Monster: a monster from the squid
Other monster: a cthulhu
And starring: our alcohol cabinet as itself
Props: Le Creuset, various electronics, and Michael’s sock drawer
Producer/editor: Noe Bartmess for John Bartmess – thanks for sponsoring me for the 2019 Clarion West write-a-thon, Dad!
A note at the bottom of the page reads: “Robby went on to star in many more movies and TV shows. Also, Spain unbanned Forbidden Planet eleven years later, in 1967. — Ed.”
Slide 30: A photograph of footprints in sand. Caption: “When asked, ‘Why was there then only one set of footprints?’ Jesus replied, “Monsters! Monsters from the id!”
Posted on Jul 22, 2019 by Noe Bartmess